The Hospital Hero-Complex

How hospital policies create emergencies to make themselves into saviors
(Oh, and how they’re setting you up for failure)

Step one: Turning a laboring mother into a patient

• Put laboring mothers in wheelchairs to convince them they can’t do things on their own

• Not only does this psychologically convince the mother to be dependent on hospital staff for her needs,

• But it also takes a woman off her feet, slowing labor
  

• Tell the woman she can’t eat or drink in case she needs surgery

• More doubt in a woman’s ability to give birth at a time when she desperately needs support
• A laboring woman burns a lot of calories and needs to replenish herself to keep her energy
• Dehydrating a woman can cause fetal distress, necessitating an emergency cesarean
• Necessitates an IV
  

• Require an IV

• Overhydrating a woman can cause swelling and slow down labor
• Ties a woman to a pole, which often makes her think she needs to stay in bed
• Even if the woman gets up to walk around, she has to worry about tubing and bags when she needs to be concentrating on her body
• Psychologically makes a woman think she’s ill and weak and perhaps unable to push out a baby
  

• Hook up continuous electronic fetal monitoring

• Ties a mother to the bed so she can’t walk around to stimulate labor progression
• Makes a mother constantly watch the monitor and watch the monitor instead of focus on her body
• False positives cause stress, slowing labor (if she’s even allowed to continue)
• A 1982 study showed a 74% FALSE positive rate. And though I don't know of an official study on this next part, several doctors have observeda number of false negatives as well, when there was actually severe oxygen deprivation or or even infant death. If you're going to use technology to determine when I should be cut open, I would hope the technology is a little more than 25% accurate.
  

Step two: “First do no harm,” unless avoiding a lawsuit or arbitrarily adhering to traditions with no basis in evidence

• Make a woman labor on her back

• This crushes the vena cava which can deprive the baby of oxygen and cause fetal distress
  

• Give the laboring woman an epidural early in labor

• All drugs cross the placenta in similar doses as is administered to the 180+ pound mother
• This freezes an unborn baby, often making it difficult for the baby to descend properly, or can get the baby “stuck” in the birth canal (this one happened to me)
• Puts a woman out of touch with her body and unable to respond properly to what her laboring body needs
• Keeps a woman from walking, slowing down labor
• (Giving an epidural to an exhausted woman late in labor can allow her to rest and revitalize, giving her the needed energy to finish giving birth)
  

• Put the woman’s feet up in stirrups, or have a nurse hold her legs up in a similar position

• This puts undue stress on the perineum, which can cause tearing
• This position isn’t as open as is often necessary to push out a baby
  

• Yell “PUSH”

• A woman instinctively knows when to push, as labor is quite a bit stronger than peristalsis, and a woman doesn’t need to be told when to push poop out (unless she has an epidural)
• Pushing hard too early can cause tearing, hemorrhoids, and other damage in that area
  

• Perform an episiotomy

• Takes longer to heal than a tear
• Often causes MORE tearing instead of less
• Risk of infection, hemorrhage, and anything else involved in surgery
• Possible permanent pain during future intercourse

• Enforce labor time-limits

• Labor takes as long as it takes; stress (as in the kind that comes from only having a time limit) makes it longer and more painful
• Once the woman’s time is up, she’s coerced into unnecessary and dangerous surgery
  

• Lie, or withhold essential information pertaining to risk and benefit management

• You’re baby’s obviously too big to come vaginally
• This labor process has taken a dangerously long time
• Cesareans are safer than vaginal birth, and you can always have a vaginal birth next time
• Vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) is more dangerous than a repeat cesarean
• You’ve experienced a “failure to progress”
• We’ve tried everything, you’re baby’s not coming out
• There’s no risk involved in an epidural
• There’s no risk involved in circumcision
• A cesarean now is no risk to future pregnancies
• Cuts heal faster than tears
• Your baby has to be measured, cleaned, and vaccinated before you can nurse
• Just to name a few…
  

• Did I miss any?

Can each of the above things be lifesaving when used properly? Minus the lying, YES! But there’s no reason for them to be routine on healthy women, and plenty of reasons for them to be discontinued unless medically called for.

Something needs to change.

Follow-up about empowering women to give birth coming soon...whenever I get around to it.